12 Everyday Habits to Train Your Brain to Be Happier

Do 5 daily acts of kindness.

"Can you try to do five kind acts for others?" Epel asks. Think about gifting someone else with their own mini moment of joy. Send your friend a funny text message, call your grandfather, write a positive comment on an Instagram post, pick up a piece of trash, bring your doorman a latte. No need for big gestures (or price tags) here.

Focus on gratitude.

How? Make it concrete: Write it down, say it out loud, think of it first thing in the morning. "Make a list of things you are grateful for, small and large," Epel says. "Gratitude is an antidote to stress. We can set ourselves onto a more positive trajectory for the day if we start the morning with gratitude. When you wake up, think of something you're grateful for."

Experience nature every day.

Go outside every single day and let the natural light, sounds, smells, and surroundings lower your stress and lift your spirits. "Get outside and notice the views or urban greenery around [you] by opening up all of your senses and moving in a mindful way," Epel says.

Reframe negative events to find a silver lining.

Bad things happen, and they will keep happening. Acknowledge the pain, the inconvenience, the anger (no toxic positivity here). But then work hard to "shift your perspective [by] finding the benefit within a daily hassle," Epel says.

One helpful modification if you're feeling particularly stuck in your pessimistic ways (remember, that's just a habit you can break!), start even smaller: See if you can shift your perspective to find something more neutral about a setback or grievance. That situation stunk, but can you tolerate it? Will it pass? Have you gotten through something similar before?

Capitalize on positive events for others.

This goes along the lines of showing kindness toward others, but it's really about listening and being present for your loved ones. "Solicit and actively listen to stories about what's going well in other peoples’ lives," Epel says.

Affirm your most important values often.

If our actions and life decisions don't mesh with our deepest values, unhappiness is rarely far behind. Remind yourself of the things you value most in the world, then take stock of whether or not you're living for them. "Rank the importance of four core values and write a brief account of how they show up in [your] life," Epel suggests. Return to this list of values often to help you make hard decisions, to steer yourself back toward contentment, and ultimately find more purpose and happiness in everyday life.

Let go of anger through compassion.

It's natural to be angry when someone hurts us. But dwelling on those painful feelings leaves us in an emotional quagmire—and when we try to push the feelings away, they only fester. If we can replace those negative emotions with compassion, we can develop empathy without denying the fact that we were hurt. In one study, English college students who were instructed to think about a past offense in a compassionate way reported greater empathy, forgiveness, and even a lower heart rate.

Cultivate a sense of awe.

Research suggests that experiencing awe—the feeling when we see an incredible landscape, hear an amazing piece of music, or hold a new baby—lifts us out of our day-to-day concerns and connects us to the feeling that we're part of something bigger than ourselves. Think back to a time when you felt a sense of awe and write about it, describing it in as much detail as possible.

Imagine being your best possible self in your relationships.

Cast your mind into the future and think about your ideal family, romantic, and social life. How do you imagine your relationship with your partner, children, parents, or friends? Specifically describe how you'd interact, what you'd do together, and anything that might be different from the way you currently relate to each other. Instead of dwelling on past obstacles or disappointments, focus on how the future could be brighter, and be creative. According to the research, articulating specifically what you want, in an optimistic way, can give you a greater sense of control and motivate you to take steps toward this ideal future. Try this exercise 15 minutes a day for two weeks.

Take a self-compassion break.

When we experience difficulty or stress, self-criticism only adds to the pain. Try replacing it with self-compassion, guided by this exercise from self-compassion researcher Kristin Neff, associate professor of human development and culture at the University of Texas at Austin.

• Think of a difficult or stressful situation in your life and how it makes you feel. Now say to yourself, "This is suffering" or "This hurts." You're mindfully acknowledging the situation without judging it.
• Next say "Suffering is a part of life" or "You're not alone." It's a way to acknowledge that you're human just like everyone else, and experiencing this painful situation doesn't mean anything is wrong with you.
• Now put your hands over your heart and say something comforting to yourself, like "May I be kind to myself" or "May I be strong."

(If you prefer to listen to a guided audio version, you can find recordings of this exercise and others at Neff's site.)

Do a digital detox.

Each day, try to part company from your devices for at least half an hour. Or delete the app that sucks away your time by tempting you to mindlessly scroll. By doing so, we reclaim our time for activities that are truly fulfilling, we're able to be more fully present, and we avoid the urge to unfavorably compare ourselves with others. In various studies, subjects who did some sort of digital detox (getting smartphone notifications in batches instead of throughout the day, leaving their phones out of the bedroom, or limiting social media) experienced positive results, including increased feelings of happiness and decreased feelings of anxiety and depression.

See the humor in life.

Humor increases feel-good neurotransmitters and reduces our physiological stress response. For a week, make a nightly practice of spending a few minutes writing down three funny things you heard, saw, or did during the day, and why they were funny. It can be a line from a TV show you watched, or a goofy song you made up for your cat. In one study, subjects who did this exercise every night for a week reduced their depression almost immediately—and even six months later, they felt happier than the group you didn't do the exercise.